Thursday, August 11, 2011

Just One More Thing

We are back, Mr. T and I.  Yes, it's now just the two of us. True empty-nesters. Well, except for the three Basset Beasties, of course.

It's been almost a week since I last posted.  Mom's services were held in Bolivar, TN, and she was buried in Bethany Cemetery near Whiteville on Monday.  "Put me between Nananny and Daddy" were her instructions, and that's just what we did.

Even though we had a thunderstorm in the morning, it had passed long before 2:00. It was almost everything August is advertised to be in West Tennessee: extremely hot and humid.  No haziness, though...it was a bright, sunny day. Friends and relatives surprised us with their numbers: since Mom was 91 and had outlived almost all of her friends and generation of kin, we hadn't counted on such a nice turnout...which we experienced for both the visitation on Sunday and the services on Monday.  Cousin M officiated over the services that he and Mom had discussed back in June when she first went to Hospice Home, including the solo by his son, Cousin S, who couldn't be there in person.  Never fear: Cousin M brought a CD with his solo, and it worked out just fine! Mom would have been pleased.

We even had 15 or so join us for a gathering afterward.  Mr. T had secured the Hospitality Suite at the Hampton in Jackson where we stayed, and Bro J arranged for the BBQ and sides for a nice meal to share. Looking around the room, it was interesting to note that the majority came from the Lunn side...but again, Mom had outlived all of her Keaton kin and most of her Stewart clan.  Still, it says a lot about a person when her husband (who has been gone for 21 years)'s family drives halfway across the state to come to her funeral, doesn't it?  Says a lot about what a great bunch they are, too.

Heading home, we took the opportunity of being in Tennessee to stop by and visit my 103 year-old cousin in Dickson. A. is recovering from injuries she sustained in a fall, but let me tell you something:  she looks fantastic!  She still has the most beautiful skin...just amazing!


"Why, dear.  Look what else's at the
Crossville exit...where we're staying..."
 We stopped for the night in Crossville, which is in a lovely part of Middle Tennessee, right on the eastern edge of the Central Time Zone.  It's also the same exit where The Yarn Patch (photo, left) is located...what a coincidence (as I attempted to convince Mr. T...:)!   Ah, yarn therapy.

We relaxed by opening a bottle of wine, toasting the future, and taking a swim in the pool.  I began to feel the Little Black Rain Cloud that has been hanging over my head for months gradually diminish. Slowly but surely.

We got home and were pleasantly surprised by the pups.  We used a pet sitter for the first time, instead of taking them to the Glammer Slammer (AKA: the kennel)...and they were amazingly calm.  Well, after we had rubbed in and handed out duck jerky, of course.  They do have expectations.

We read all the sweet cards and expressions of sympathy that had arrived in the mail while we were gone.  We listened to the voicemails from old friends who had just found out.  And, we even brought in a flower arrangement that had arrived the afternoon of our return.

And, I guess you might think that that's the end of that.

Of course, that's NOT the end of that. There are papers to be signed, cards and correspondence to be written and mailed, and accounts to be closed. Phone calls must be made. And, many people must be thanked. The To Do List gets longer by the minute.

But, except for one thing on the list, I think I can handle it all without too many tears.  It's just that one thing that's weighing heavily on my mind and messing with my emotions.

That one thing?  Cleaning out Mom's rooms and closet. I haven't been able to do it yet, even though she has been gone from our house since June 9th...9 weeks today, to be exact. It seems like such a small thing compared to my childhood friends who just lost their mother two weeks ago (and who came to Mom's visitation, bless 'em): they have her whole house to go through.  I only have a couple of rooms and a closet.  And, it's not like there's anyone pushing me to get it done on any particular schedule.

It's me.  I believe that cleaning out her rooms and closet...deciding what to do with her possessions...is the major stumbling block for me moving ahead with my own life.  And, I am ready to move ahead.  I think.

Maybe I can break that one thing down into little bitty things.  Closet on one day.  Dresser the next.  Chest-of-drawers the following day.  And so on.  You know...the "only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time" method of getting a big job done. 

Hey, it's worth a try.  I'll let you know how it goes.

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