Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Going...Going...Almost Gone

Hard as it is to imagine, 2011 is almost over. Anyone blame me for saying "thank Heaven for small mercies"? I will be happy to see this year in the rear view mirror of my life, for certain.

The 24/7 Time Warner Cable news channel is telling that today (December 28) is No Regrets Day, with suggestions to write what you want to forget about this past year ("troubling souvenirs of 2011") on a piece of paper...and SHREAD IT! There's even a giant shredder set up in Times Square. Well, I've got a good-size shredder right here, folks. Wonder if there is some limit to how many pieces of paper I'm allowed to use?

OK, moving on...

Speaking of moving on...NO, we are NOT moving...sorry to even put that idea in your head! I was referring to our grand "move" on Monday, from KY back to NC. We reversed the process of ten days ago, loading up two cars with all of our stuff...and the three dogs, and driving back through four states in ten hours. Somewhere between the third and last toll booth on the WV Turnpike and the VA Welcome Center, my body and brain began to join forces in protest, threatening to Un-Occupy the driver's seat any longer. "I'm so over this," screamed that voice in my head. "I don't want to do this anymore!"

Right. Roll the window down...turn the audiobook up ("The Language of Bees")...and keep on moving, woman. This too shall pass.

I have had this same feeling once before in my life. On my first overseas flight from ATL to Manchester, England, back in 1997, I think. Somewhere over the North Atlantic, I suddenly had this overwhelming need to GET OFF THIS PLANE! It wasn't fear...it was the "stick a fork in me, I'm done" feeling. It was also the middle of the night, and I had to do "laps" up-and-back in the aisles to calm down. Couldn't do that now, could I, what with post-9/11 security measures dictating that passengers remain seated? Ah well.

We're home...at least I am...and recovering from the trip. Actually, Mr. T was here less than 12 hours...long enough to repack the necessities...and then off to VA for a meeting today at one of his dealerships. The end-of-the-year stuff is piling up for him, with too-few hours left to accomplish it all. He's supposed to return tonight, as tomorrow will be close-of-business for Fuso...so the Blackberry should be burnin' until the very last minute since they are in a twizzle to meet their numbers. Fingers crossed...toes, too!


To help him keep up his strength, I finally got around to making the Bundt(tm) cake he requested (pictured above; recipe below). Although the original Cocoa Bundt* recipe called for a chocolate glaze, I substituted a vanilla one...made with Justa Wee Bit o' Bourbon. Thought he might appreciate that!

I'm trying to get caught up around the house. Laundry took less time than expected, because we took advantage of Missy M's machinery before we left to do the majority of the loads. Indoor gardening took more time than anticipated, as everything needed watering and tending...and this was the final feeding until March for all the houseplants. I'm still trying to make it through all of the mail, which includes many of your beautiful cards and letters. (Thank you!)

And, last but not least, I'm unpacking all our wonderful gifts. This is truly the fun part of the week between Christmas and New Year's, isn't it?

I have so much to be thankful for...Santa and his Elves were more than generous with gifts of books (I'm almost done with "V is for Vengeance" by Sue Grafton), batteries (bringing life back to several comatose watches), and all manner of gardening goodies. But I am over the moon over one special gift. One that was wished for...not expected...and already considered an heirloom.

Missy M made me a quilt. Full size. Pretty on front and back. And in shades of purple, one of my favorite colors (matching the paint below the chair rail in its new room) and teal-blues (another fav!)...with peachy-pinks, to match a solid color matelesse quilt I already have. I've taken this photo to share with you...but my skills and the lens of the iPad's camera are both lacking to do it justice. Trust me, it's absolutely gorgeous. Now where is that box of Kleenex when I really need it?


As you can tell from the photo (above), I've put it on the guest bed...beyond the reach and The Drool of The Houndz...and, I'm already planning the matching pillows I'll make with the extra fabric Missy M gave me. You'll just have to come see it for yourselves.

Maybe in 2012?

========================================================

Cocoa Bundt Cake*
1 2/3 cups cake flour
1 1/2 cups sugar
1/2 cup cocoa
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 small box vanilla pudding (I use the instant)
3 eggs
1/2 cup oil
1 1/2 cups buttermilk
1 tsp vanilla

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees (F). Spray Bundt pan with cooking spray.
2. In large mixing bowl, sift the dry ingredients.
3. In a large measuring cup, beat the eggs; add the rest of the wet ingredients.
4. While beating on low speed, blend the wet ingredient into the dry. Beat mixture on high for 3 minutes.
5. Pour cake batter into prepared pan. Bake for 45-55 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean.
6. Cool for 5 minutes. Remove to serving platter.
7. Drizzle with glaze (like the vanilla one below)

Enjoy!

Justa Wee Bit o' Bourbon Glaze

1/3 cup butter, softened
2 cups Confectioner's sugar
1 Tablespoon bourbon (or vanilla flavoring) (more or less)
2-4 Tablespoons milk (more or less)

1. Melt the butter in a medium saucepan over LOW heat.
2. Remove from heat.
3. Stir in the confectioner's sugar and the liquids, one Tablespoon at a time. Add enough liquid to make the glaze smooth and of desired consistency.
4. Pour over Bundt cake. Yields about 1 1/4 cups glaze. Can easily double.

*An updated version of a recipe from "Hershey's Make It Chocolate!" Cookbook (c) 1987

Monday, December 19, 2011

A Change of Scene

"You have arrived!" That's what the Magellan voice we call Maggie says when we reach our destination. And our destination for the Holidays is Missy M's house in Louisville.


We got here on Friday night. We were in two cars...with three dogs...driving through four states, which meant the eight-hour drive lasted 10 hours. New math. Anyway, we were exhausted and headed to bed without much hesitation.

Saturday was a busy day, starting early to get ready for The Lunn Family Annual Christmas Party. By 3:00, the two pots of chili (one hot, one wimpy, as Missy M says...:) were bubbling away on the stove, and the Brothers and SILs were arriving.

We made some ornaments (swirling acrylic paints inside of clear globes), ate our fill of chili and fixin's, played reindeer games (guessing what was in Rodney's stocking, etc.), and exchanged gifts. Much love was shared, and a great time was had by all. We placed the Memory Disc we'd received at the Service of Memories on the tree so we could recognize the presence of Nana/Momma/Edith...and Bro J passed out Santa stocking hats in her honor.

Speaking of hats...

We continued the Goofy Hat tradition by giving Bro J a silly hat. I will post pix and a video when I get back to NC...I'm posting this on my iPad (first time) so haven't got the technique down pat yet. Uploading photos to the post = still a challenge! Don't even ask me about creating a link to YouTube on this thing...:-)

Anyway...

Remember, I posted earlier about making many of my gifts this year per suggestions from the grief literature from my Hospice counselor? Well, if I can make this work, I hope to show you a pic or two of the Memory Terrariums I made for both SILs, Missy M, and N/M/E's BFF AW. I'm calling them Memariums (Memaria?).

Recalling a beautiful terrarium that graced the lobby of Hospice Home of High Point, I got the 1.5 gallon glass containers at The Container Store in Raleigh, and the plants and planting materials (potting soil and peat moss) at Lowes...which was the ONLY local source of small container houseplants this time of the year. Believe me...I went to several local garden centers trying to find the plants...no luck. Thank goodness for Lowes! I found some healthy "Pan Am" Pilea (a ripple-leaf variety), "Golden Gate" Peperomia, "Red Vein" Fittonia, and "Pixie Dixie" Ivy. One small container yielded three or more plants...which I didn't realize until planting day, so now I have lots of newly potted houseplants. A bonus! Oh, and I got charcoal (called carbon) and tiny-gauge gravel from PetsMart. I used a birthday gift certificate to Barnes and Noble (from Bro J and SIL J)...and then some...to buy three books on terrariums (and I'll give proper credit when I get back home), which told me how to create the containers...and one even sparked the idea of placing memory-items inside, with the plan for "Grandma's Jewel Box."

Borrowing an idea from high school friend LCM, I then created a "This is Your Life" photo frame for Bro J, using pix I found while cleaning out Momma's boxes. I'd scanned and saved about 75 or so, starting with his earliest baby pictures...and including a few of the Goofy Hat ones for good measure. The frame will hold 2,000 or so digitals, and if he needs more...he can use a disc!

For Bro T, I ordered a canvas-wrap picture, using a photo I'm calling "Fog Over The Caney Fork." I took several shots as we were driving from NC to West Tennessee in August for Momma's funeral...when he was in his car following Mr. T and me. He didn't know why in the world we kept stopping on the bridges over the Caney Fork...there are at least 4 on I-40 in Middle Tennessee...he thought we were having car trouble or something. I chose the best shot of the bunch and had it enlarged and canvas-wrapped at CVS (they did a SUPERB JOB!)...so he can always remember that there are bright moments even in sad times.

I think they were all hits. And I loved every minute of making them. Win-win!

It was great seeing everyone again...under happy circumstances. Bro T and SIL LaD had to make the hour-plus drive north, so they departed early in the evening, after we made tentative plans to meet again before we head back south. J & J were spending the night locally, so we met them for a tasty breakfast at Wild Eggs. Then we spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing and decorating M's house for the Holidays. She has such a great eye for design and placement...as demonstrated in her decorating...her work...and her newest form of expression: quilting. You should see what she made for J& J (placemats and napkins) and what she's working on for LaD (shhhh...it's still a WIP...;)


The week ahead will be devoted to doing as little as possible. We have plans for the Nutcracker ballet (tradition!) and shopping must be done...along with wrapping, of course. But beyond that, we are all just chillin'!

What is it "they" say? "A change of scene will do one good."

No arguments from me!

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[BTW, according to Missy M's research, there doesn't seem to be an easy, FREE, method of posting my photos using my iPad. Bummer. I've forced it to accept a couple of pix (the one at the top is of her tree all decorated; the other one is of her cute moose and yarn trees...and if you look closely, you'll see Ella sleeping in the chair in the background...:) via an iPhone ap she downloaded. Will edit this when I get back to my laptop. Meanwhile, here are my work-arounds (in the "where there's a will, there's a way" category...:): I've uploaded some Christmas shots to Flickr, which should show up in the slideshow over there on the right. I've also uploaded several to Facebook. Visit me there. There's a link over there in the right column. =====>>>]

Sunday, December 11, 2011

It's Working...It's Really Working!

I am here to tell you:  following the grief counselor's advice is actually working.  Imagine that. Will wonders never cease?

To review, I have been doing what I was told to do (a miracle, in and of itself...) in handling the Holidays during this first year without Momma.   Here are a few of the bullet points:

Red Lion Amaryllis
in full-bloom on the dining room table
 * Make or bake all of your holiday gifts. (Check back after the Holidays for photos on those...:)
* Shop by catalog or online in order to avoid the extra stress of the rush and crush of the crowds.
* Try to attend at least one special holiday event; fellowship with others is sometimes the best medicine for a grieving heart.
* Keep as many of the family traditions alive as you can manage.
* Start a new tradition in memory of your loved one. (More on this one in the next post.)
* Take time to be in touch with your feelings...you may find you are actually enjoying the holidays rather than just coping with them.
* Put a smile on your face...and you'll find one in your heart.


Christmas Tree...and Door Prizes
at the Master Gardener Christmas Party
12/8/11




Guess what? I have made the gifts, and shopped online (or on Tuesdays in the stores...seemingly the least-hectic day).  Mr. T and I have attended two concerts and a lovely Holiday party (photo, right).  I have written the traditional Christmas newsletter to tuck into the Christmas cards (still working on those...:), and baked some of the traditional goodies...all without tears. 

 OK, truthfully?  I did tear-up a little bit on the newsletter because I struggled mightily with how to address Momma's passing in a thoughtful and appropriate way.  But no tears actually splashed on the keyboard.  Honest.

 Following the advice has not only helped me manage my grief...it's even helped me feel some excitement and anticipation about the Holidays this year. 

 Now, I must admit that our "decorating" has been simple...compared to what is the norm for us:  one tree, a wreath or two, a couple of new nutcrackers for the collection on the mantle and the giant Nutcrackers standing guard at the front steps (tradition!), a few candles and some amaryllis blooms to decorate the dining room table (photo, above).  Duke Energy will probably send us a "We Missed You!" card, as our December bill should be considerably less...since we didn't put out all the usual exterior lights and decorations.  Of course, our yard won't be mistaken for one of the landing strips at PTI either this year.

Butterballs -
A Christmas Tradition for Us
And, my baking is subdued...for me at least:  a couple of batches of Butterballs* (picture, left; recipe below), chocolate chip cookies, and no-bake oatmeal cookies.  I made a big recipe of Spiced Tea mix...as much as my largest bowl would hold...most of that will be shared as gifts, but I'm keeping a large jar for myself. [Follow the link to a recipe similar to mine.]  Maybe I'll whip up a batch of Microwave Pralines. Possibly some Marshmallow Fudge.  Oh, don't get me started...:

Still and all, that hollow, empty feeling is being filled with the sights, sounds, and smells of the Season.  And joy is finding its way into my heart. 

Momma would be pleased as Rum Punch, don't you think?







======================================================
Butterballs*

 Ingredients:
1 cup butter, softened (don't even THINK about using margarine...:)
1/2 cup powdered sugar (plus 1/2 to 1 cup more for rolling)
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 T. water
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup pecans, chopped fine

Directions:
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. In the food processor, chop the pecans fine, almost to a powder.  Remove to a bowl, reserving for the next step.
  3. Cream the butter in the food processor.  Add the powdered sugar, the vanilla, and the water. Blend well.
  4. Add the flour, the salt, and the reserved pecans to the creamed mixture in the bowl of the processor.  Blend well until a soft dough follows the blades.
  5. Roll into 1-inch balls.  Place on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.  Bake in preheated oven for 15-20 minutes. These cookies do NOT rise or spread.  Remove pan from oven before any browning occurs. Allow to rest for 3 minutes.
  6. Roll in extra powdered sugar and place on a rack to cool.  Roll again in powdered sugar.

Makes about 3 dozen cookies.  Enjoy!

*(Adapted from a recipe called Delaware Butter Balls in the 1975 Southern Living Southern Country Cookbook...one of my personal favorite cookbooks!)

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

You Can't Believe A Word I Say

For as long as I can remember, if I would answer one of Missy M's questions...or respond to a request for information...and she would look doubtfully at me because of my answer or response, I would say "of course, you can't believe a word I say, 'cause I lie all of the time."  Say it with the proper amount of sarcasm dripping from each word, and you get the point across:  BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU...

Anyway...

I have said for weeks now (especially since I discovered at Thanksgiving just how painful memories can be during the Holidays after the loss of a loved one), I'm not putting up a Christmas tree this year. I just didn't think it was a good idea, for a number of reasons, not the least of which I couldn't imagine feeling any joy or happiness about the prospect.  Momma loved the Holidays, loved the shopping, loved the songs, loved the traditions, loved the lights and the ornaments.  Why put us through that pain?

First came the bereavement counseling.  These words from the pamphlet "Coping With The Holidays: the Road to Recovery" said it best:

"Decorating for the Holidays, although it may seem like more work than it is worth, will bring warmth into your home and should not be avoided....Once the decorating is done, you'll be happy to have the seasonal reminder that life is continuing on and so must you."

Quilted Tree Skirt
Made by Missy M - 2011
And, then came the quilted Tree Skirt.  I couldn't ignore this beautiful creation that our beautiful and creative daughter made and gave to us as an early Christmas present (photo, left).

A tree skirt needs a tree, right?  And a tree needs decorations, lights, and ornaments.  And a decorated tree needs wreaths and candles and nutcrackers and...and...well, you get the picture.  I found that I could not NOT decorate for Christmas.

Decorating for Christmas - 2011








So, you see (photo, right)...you can't believe a word I say.

Ah well.

In other preparations for the Season, Mr. T and I traveled to Durham on Saturday to hear Handel's Messiah at Duke University Chapel.  Inspirational!  I told Miss C (a childhood friend of Momma's and my former piano teacher in Henning) about the concert when I spoke to her this morning on our weekly phone call, and she said "well, you know Handel wrote that when he was at a particularly low point in his life."  Really?  Just goes to show that the passion from low points can lead to great heights, I suppose.  And the Chapel bulletin noted that he wrote possibly the Western World's most magnificent Oratorio in just 24 days.  20+4. Remarkable!



Pipes for the Organ -
Duke Chapel, Duke University
A little review - you might remember that we went to hear the Messiah at Centenary UMC in Winston-Salem a couple of Christmases ago; I posted about it here.  We had also been to Duke Chapel about 15 years ago, during our second time (of three...:) living here in NC.  As remembered, the Chapel is nothing shy of magestic.  It reminds one of the massive cathedrals of Europe, albeit on a smaller scale...although "small" isn't a word that comes to mind when in one of the pews.  The pipe organ's sound (photo, left) is soul-stirring.  And the music of the orchestra was moving.  However...the acoustics in the Chapel are dreadful...as you might expect with the soaring ceilings and all of that stone.  We had difficulty in hearing the soloists, who did not wear mikes.  We did NOT have this same problem at Centenary, which (while large as sanctuaries go) is more intimate than Duke Chapel. Next year?  We'll probably return to Centenary, which is also much warmer and more comfortable... important for a 3-hour performance, with only one intermission...and the standing for the Hallelujah Chorus, of course..., which All We Like Sheep (one of my personal favorite choruses...:) did just like King George II supposedly did...:)  [Hopefully, if you follow that link, you can hear the Project Gutenburg's free download.  I've been listening to it on a loop the entire time I've been writing this post.  Enjoy!]

Back at home, we did a little leaf clean-up on Sunday, bagging up the freebie leaves that our landscaper dumped in our back yard last Thursday.  He has this huge riding lawn mower he trucks into the neighborhood on a trailer, that makes quick work of several yards he has on contract.  It's a mulcher-mower with a massive collection bin on the back...and now, he just drives into our back yard and dumps the bin whenever it's full.  Yippee!  Future gold!!  And all chipped up, too!!!  I bought these Nutscene® jute leaf sacks at a local garden center; thought I'd test them to see how well they compost the leave mold by next Spring.  And, the rest went straight into the raised beds around the blueberry bushes (oak leaves are high-acid...which blueberries love...:) and into the wire bins that Mr. T has created in the garden.  What a wonderful gift!

Then, Monday morning as I was running late for a Master Gardener meeting, Lillie Pearl PTC wouldn't start...again.  This had happened after Thanksgiving, so having to have the battery jumped twice in two weeks was becoming a bad habit.  The AAA guys (both of them) said the battery was fine...that there was something drawing the current down.  So, Lillie is now having inpatient surgery at Ilderton Dodge...and I'm driving a bright, candy-apple red Avenger for the duration.  Good grief...this baby is as far from "me" as I can be!  I'm terrified I'm going to get a speeding ticket...not because I was actually speeding, but because the car is RED.

Honest, officer!  I wasn't speeding.  It's just the car.  Would I lie to you?

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