Rejection and Redemption



Southern My Way Cookbook

 The prize is a cookbook.  Not the MegaMillions jackpot.  And, certainly not a contract for a book.  I won a cookbook.  Truthfully?  I'm grinning like I just matched four numbers and the MegaBall on my last lottery ticket.

Last month I was reading a new-to-me online magazine called Deep South and noticed an article about a new cookbook called Southern My Way by Gena Knox.  There was a request for readers to share their own family food traditions by leaving a comment or sending an email, and they said they'd pick a winner in January.

It was one of those really cold December days, and I had just stirred up a pot of Brunswick Stew.  Faithful readers know that I have written far more than they wanted to read on the subjects of stew and the Stewart family tradition.  Still, there might be one or two or a million folks who have never heard my ramblings.  Thus inspired, I wrote a few lines in the comments section and returned to whatever I had been doing before that.

Firing up my laptop this morning after several days away, I noticed a message in my email inbox with the subject line:  Southern My Way winner!  It was true:  my entry had been selected as the winner in the Southern My Way cookbook giveaway.  I was so excited when I followed the link and saw my entry published online.

To some, it's a cookbook.  And, truth-be-told, the entry could be compared to writing a letter to the editor of the local paper.  To me, it feels like redemption, a quarter of a century in the making.

About 25 years ago, when Missy M was in the first grade, I took a detour from the corporate roadmap and charted a course into a scary new territory: Full-time Mommyhood.  I had no role model for this, as my own mother had always been employed while we were growing up. 

Of course, I couldn't remove myself completely.   I saw this as a perfect time to make the transition from talking about becoming a writer...to being a writer. That admission should come as no surprise to anyone.

You know me...I had to have a plan.  Doing my research, I read that many successful writers started with magazines.  OK, if it was good for Louisa May Alcott, it should be good for me.  I can do that.  I picked several magazines we had in the house, read them all cover-to-cover to see what they liked, and wrote some articles that I then submitted as directed. 

I received only one response, which was probably the nicest rejection letter that editor had written in a while.  At the time, I remember thinking that I should be pleased that she had taken the time to write me a few words of encouragement.  I should see this as just the first step.  And, I tried to focus on the positive, I really did.

But.

In my heart, I could only feel the disappointment of rejection.  And, as hard as I tried, I could not get past it.  R-E-J-E-C-T-I-O-N.  I was not prepared for how hard it was to have someone else judge something I had done and find it sorely lacking.  It felt like failure, and I didn't know how to deal with it.  I was used to getting A's, not F's.  So, I protected myself from dealing with those awful feelings.  If you don't submit anything, you cannot be rejected.  Simple.  I put that dream in a drawer and moved on to other things.

I never really stopped writing.  As a corporate trainer and leadership development coach, I've written training workbooks and manuals for years.  Since I usually knew (a little) more about the subject I was training, trainees rarely commented negatively on their materials...so, no real rejection of my writing there.

I've kept a journal for over 10 years now, where I write until my hand can no longer hold the pen to the paper...a time period that has gotten substantially shorter as the years have gone on.  Since no one else reads my journal, there is no one to comment negatively on my writing...no rejection there.

And, for the past four years, I've blogged here (and more recently on my other two blogs).  I write what I want, when I want.  No rejection here. 

I've even had positive comments from many of you, dear readers.  Most of the time, I haven't known how to respond to things like "you really should be writing a book."  While agreeing with the statement and appreciating the sentiment, I still find it hard to move outside of my comfort zone where I am insulated against rejection.

But, the cookbook may have changed things.  Seeing my winning entry on Deep South certainly feels redemptive...as in redeeming...as in winning something back.

We shall see.  We shall see.

Fall Has Arrived...Finally!

Just when we thought it would be Summer forever...and ever..., Fall put in an appearance here in the Piedmont of NC. Instead of temperatures in the 80's and 90's (!) during the day, we've had more seasonable 60's and 70's. And, the night-time temps have even dipped into the 40's. Ahh...much better.

Still...

The football games we've attended have all been scorchers. Not score-wise, mind you, 'cause we are fans of the Duke Blue Devils (scoring a touchdown...finally...in their game against Miami over there in that photo, left...you don't want to know the final score), the Carolina Panthers, and the Memphis Tigers...none of which are threatening to win a single game, much less have a winning season. Sigh.

No, temp.-wise. Mr. T donned his Duke sweatshirt on Saturday, saying it was a little chilly outside when he took his morning Coffee Walk in the garden; so, I followed suit and found a sweater to layer over my Duke T-shirt.

Did not need either one of those toppers! As soon as I sat down in Section 20 at Wallace Wade Stadium, I shed that sweater...and started wishing I'd remembered to use some sunscreen on my exposed arms. Fortunately, my face was covered, shall we say, since my make-up has SPF 15, and I had remembered to wear my new sun-visor I got in Hawaii. Mr. T did the manly-man thing and kept his sweatshirt in place...although I noticed he pushed the sleeves up as high as he could. He had a baseball cap to keep the blazing afternoon sun out of his eyes, but he said it was too hot on his head. Whew!

"So why do you even go to those games, if you know your team's likely to lose?" I was asked that by a friend recently. Well, simply put, I like football. What can I say? It's a Southern thing, where football has been compared to religion in this region of the country. Grew up going to Tiger games, always anticipating a winning season...or, at best, a win over Ole Miss. I like to think that contributed to my positive outlook on life. Hope springing eternal and all...anything being possible if you want it bad enough. Right.

Anyway, in my advanced age, I've embraced the whole pre-game rite known at Tailgating. What fun! We've about got it down to a science, too.

1. Ice down the cooler.


2. Add cold drinks from the 'fridge. Bag up some extra ice for those team-color Dixie cups.


3. Either pack sandwiches, salads, 'n chips...or plan to pick up some fried chicken 'n fixin's on the way (depending on what the weather is...hot or cold). [Hot foods require another cooler to keep them warm.] Mr. T is not a fan of fooling with charcoal away from home, so grilling is not on our menu.


4. Don't forget the cookies...or cupcakes...or, some kind of dessert.


5. Grab the picnic basket, which stays packed with all those necessities: plates, napkins, salt 'n pepper...even a cheese board and knife, red-checked cloth napkins and tablecloth, along with a corkscrew, if we want to get a bit fancy. [I'm a fan of fancy...:)]


6. Toss the folding camp chairs and table in the back of the car, along with a couple of blankets and our gel-pack stadium seats (which can be pre-warmed in the microwave, if it is a really cold day...:).


7. Plug in the I-pod, on which I've created music mixes for game day...go [insert team mascot name here]!


8. Arrive at least an hour ahead of kick-off and find a parking space where you can enjoy all the above...and soak in some of the atmosphere.


9. Have fun!

Of course, Fall isn't all about football fun. This year, it's been about a productive Fall veggie garden, too. I am so thrilled with our success with this first-time adventure that I can't wait to go out each day on the Coffee Walk...almost like I was in the early Spring!

As you can see in that photo (right), the turnip greens (Seven Tops, in case you are wondering what I planted; they are good for just the greens, which is the only part N/M/E and I like...not the turnips) have taken center stage. The peppers are still producing, especially the cayennes, which are loaded with red-hots. I've put up about 10 jars of pepper sauce, so far (see same photo...:)

And, I've dug up over a bushel-basket full of sweet potatoes already...with many more still growing in the ground. I think I've shared this photo (below, left) with you before, but it's the only one I have of this harvest...so far.

It appears that every single one of the 57 onion sets I planted recently will make it, with lots of slender green shoots dotting the four rows. The broccoli plants I put in are all healthy looking, although I've yet to see evidence of actual broccoli heads...since I've never grown broccoli, I'm not really sure what to look for anyway. The English (or garden) peas are producing quite spectacularly, albeit with small daily yields due to the small number of seeds I planted; makes me certain that I will plant more of these babies next August! And, the lettuce and spinach are supplying enough for satisfying salads at least a couple times a week. So tender...so tasty!

Meanwhile, I'm doing some prep work for an upcoming challenge. Yes, if Fall has arrived, then November can't be far behind. Time for the Annual NaNoWriMo! You can follow that link to learn more about it, or I'll give you the synopsis: 30 days of November = 50,000 words = 175 page novel. This year will be my third year to participate...and it will be the first year I win! (Don't you just love unbridled enthusiasm?) You "win" NaNo by writing a 50,000 word novel and submitting it for verification/word count on or before midnight November 30th. So, if you don't hear from me for say, oh 30 days or so, don't be concerned. I'm writing...and writing...and writing...etc.

Of course, when I'm not going to football games, gardening, or writing, I'm knitting...another fun Fall activity. I need to get some "before" and "during" shots of my current projects to share with you. I'll be sure and do just that, as soon as I can find some extra time...

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NOTE: This post was composed using the "old" editor setting on Blogger, due to a glitch in their "new" editor involving the uploading of photos. Blah, blah, blah...[insert lots of technical jargon here]...bottom line: where there's a will, you can always find a way. Perserverance, determination...and being just a tad stubborn...help!

Let the Writing Begin!

"It was a dark and stormy night..."

Thursday marked the beginning of November, as well as the first day of the National Novel Writing Month: NaNoWriMo. What is NaNoWriMo? Well, here is the scoop straight from their website:

• National Novel Writing Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing November 1. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30.
  
• Valuing enthusiasm and perseverance over painstaking craft, NaNoWriMo is a novel-writing program for everyone who has thought fleetingly about writing a novel but has been scared away by the time and effort involved.
  
• Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It's all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly. By forcing yourself to write so intensely, you are giving yourself permission to make mistakes. To forgo the endless tweaking and editing and just create. To build without tearing down.
  
• In 2006, we had over 79,000 participants. Nearly 13,000 of them crossed the 50k finish line by the midnight deadline, entering into the annals of NaNoWriMo superstardom forever. They started the month as auto mechanics, out-of-work actors, and middle school English teachers. They walked away novelists.

And, it's official...I'm participating this year. If you do the math, I have 30 days to write a 50K-word novel; that comes out to...let's see, 30 gozinta 50000...yikes! That's 1666.6666 words each and every day of the month of November. Or, look at it another way: 30 days to write a 175-page novel is "only" 5.83 pages each day. Since I have my Word document set to double-space, I guess I have to think 11.667 pages a day, huh?

So, how am I doing so far? Well, as of this evening (end of Day 2), my Word Count is (drum roll, please!): 3,054. That puts me within 279.33 words of goal! Whew.

And, you know what? I'm having fun with this! I've said for years that I wanted to write either a novel or a mystery or a biography...or possibly historical fiction. And, I'm one of those who can get bogged down in the "endless tweaking and editing" and forget to "just create." I need to be forced "to build without tearing down." So, here is a perfect opportunity for me to Just. Do. It.

Stay tuned...

Spring has Sprung? Let's Hope So!

Look at these beautiful Bassets! That's Elmo on the left, Duchess on the right. They are out on the deck on their pillows, enjoying the sun and mild temperatures today. The snow has all but vanished (except in the piles on the streets, where the snow plough ran), and lots of spring flowers are pushing through the ground. How they survived all that cold weather, I'll never know! I've heard that the forecast for this weekend isn't the greatest (rain and wind on the way), but surely we won't slip back into Winter again...surely?

I'm starting to get the hang of Blog publishing, particularly on my http://ChoicesCoach.blogspot.com. I pick a topic for each day, select my resources and supporting materials, and create the content to publish. I've used the links, and I'm adding a few features that I can upload. I've learned all about using AdSense from Google, and have added a number of elements as suggested. As I get more comfortable with the process, I'm sure I'll learn more and grow the site.

I've also made my goal of one hour (or more!) on my novel each day. While I can't always make that happen first thing, I can usually work it out in the late afternoon (like today). Most of my work has been on research and character development. Silly me, I thought that you just sat down and wrote until the novel was finished...voila! Who knew that you first have to dig a deep hole to plant the tree that will grow into your story?

Thomas told me he liked all the photos I've been including on this site, so I wanted to add another bird picture. This one is of three male cardinals at the copper feeder in the back yard. Can't see all three? Trust me, there's another one in the thicket! Actually I counted at least 6 male cards at one time, flitting around the thicket and the feeders. A month from now, they won't be that close to one another without having a fight for the females! Ah, Spring...:)

Could Spring be on the Way?

Yesterday was absolutely beautiful here in O'Fallon! The skies were blue, the birds were singing, and the snow was almost all melted away...oh yes, and it reached the mid-50's! Who could ask for anything more? I took this picture from our deck of a male cardinal in the thicket in our back yard. He and his mates were busy at the feeders all afternoon.

It's hard to believe that this time last week, we had 5 inches of snow on the ground...and it hit 5 degrees at 5:00 a.m. The snow was beautiful, but we are all ready for Spring!

I started back working on my novel yesterday, with a renewed sense of purpose. I've determined that the key to reaching my writing goal is DISCIPLINE...at least, that's what I read. I'm happy to be moving forward, even though it feels so scary to not know what I'm doing...a bit like stepping into the darkness. I know that as I am successful at figuring out the process, I'll feel much more confident...and want to work that much harder to reach my goal.

I've also determined that I need to begin a Business Blog, too. I've been working on my email signatures, and I realize that a new blog can help me. I'll mix that into my writing to keep me fresh...and to help relieve the pressure of staring at the page without writing anything of substance!