Two Steps Forward, One Step Back...Regroup and Repeat

It's been a fairly good week, overall. Mostly positive, for sure.  Some unexpected, overwhelming emotions that have caused me to hit the 'pause' button, too.  Ah well...such is life, dealing with grief, right?

Let's start with a positive, even though it's out of order on the calendar.  On Tuesday, after I had attended a Master Gardener wrap-up/planning ahead Plant Sale meeting at the Extension Center (way the heck on the other side of the county, mind you...:-), I dashed to the Moose Cafe out at the Piedmont Triad Farmer's Market to meet a couple of EMGVs at noon for a country lunch (I had the fried chicken, mashed potatoes & gravy, and green beans...yummmmm!  I just wish they would serve yeast-rolls instead of the rather bland biscuits...but you can't have everything, now can you?).  One of them is expecting her second child ANY MINUTE NOW, and I had knitted up a little outfit to welcome Baby M to the world.


5 Hour Baby Sweater Set
for Baby M


I used the 5 Hour Baby Sweater (or 5HBS, in knit-speak) patterns and some warm, washable Cascade 220 wool in hot pink and grass green to create a sweater, bonnet, and booties (see photo, left).  I enjoy knitting these patterns because they are fast and coordinated, and not just garter stitch...but I'm not sure what planet someone knitted these in only five hours!  I'm a pretty fast knitter...and I'm guessing it took at least three times as long to complete the outfit as written (only change I made was to use two colors instead of one...everything else was as written...honest...:).  OK, so I did knit the pieces while watching TV...so what else is new?  Still, I think it turned out as I'd hoped for, and the MG Mom seemed pleased to receive the gift.  Since she's moving to Michigan soon, I'm thinking the wool will be welcomed.

Other good things have included a working-lunch meeting about Speakers Bureau with MGer JA on Monday here in High Point, and a meeting with the MG Rose Garden Project Team in the lovely Learning Center in the Legacy Garden on Wednesday.  Yes, I did go back out to Burlington Road again the very next day.  My car knows the way...what else can I say?

We are working our way through all the tasks necessary to make our presentation on the rose garden on October 5th.  The biggest task for this project has been to identify the roses that we already have planted there.  Hard to imagine, but there is no written record that we can locate.  Well, we're gonna take care of that!  And, we will be ordering and planting a few more later this month...now that's exciting!  Because it has been decided to table the Earthkind (c) Trial Rose Garden I mentioned in my last post for a while, I'm happy to be a part of planting some new bushes.

Are you detecting a theme here?  You would be on to something if you observed that Master Gardening is getting me through this difficult time in my life. And I am thankful for this group and their support more than I can say.

Anyway...



A return trip to say Thank You...

The step back?  Well, it all started with that trip last Friday to see the Bereavement Counselor at Hospice.  I had baked some Triple Chip Cookies (recipe below) to take to the staff, many of whom I had not had the chance to say 'goodbye' and 'thank you' since Mom died at 4:00 a.m. - several hours before the Day Shift came in on that Friday, four weeks ago today.  So, before my appointment, I went into the Hospice Home to deliver the cookies and my appreciation...and to return a book that I'd found in my knitting bag.  I hugged in at the Team Station and all was well, if only a bit wet from the tears.  I got to see several of Momma's nurses, aides, her doctor, and the social worker...and I felt as surrounded by their love and care as I had before.

Then, I took the book back to the desk (a beautiful Bob Timberlake design, by the way) where I'd found it in the Sun Room...and that route took me right past Momma's room.  Of course, another family was there with their family member.  But I didn't need to enter the room to have all those feelings come flooding back.  Whoosh!

Apparently, I tamped them down into my subconscious, because I really didn't talk about that experience with Amanda the Counselor.  It was too new, too raw to discuss so soon, I suppose.  But every day this week, I have tried to do a little work in Momma's rooms...and each night after I do that, I have very vivid dreams about the morning she died...in Room 101.  And, then to top it all off, after the landscapers arrived yesterday to make quick work of cleaning up the Way Back, I just dissolved into a puddle when I came inside and thought about how that area had been my refuge from all my caregiving responsibilities.  So, the grieving is definitely not over...not by a long shot. Sigh.

I'm so lucky to have Mr. T by my side this week so that I don't have to deal with all of this on my own. Where would I be without him?  And, since he has his own moments, he appreciates being able to talk about those to someone close to the issue. That's where Happy Hour in the Morning Room (no, not in the morning...:-) comes to the rescue.  He's doing his end-of-the-month, end-of-the-quarter stuff, so he has to be close to home...most of the time.  Today, he was off to Charlotte so early that he said he'd get his coffee on the road instead of making a pot at the crack o' dawn.  But, he'll be home in plenty of time for Friday Night Pizza and Beer!

And, we are both getting excited about this weekend, when Missy M and my grand-dogs Ella Rae and Dixie come for a long visit.  Woo hoo! We've got something special planned for the next week, especially since this is Mr. T's birthday week...more on that in my next post.



Can you see them?
Two rainbows over High Point!

So, I regroup...because I can't be too sad for too long. I have lots of people and support and activities to help move me forward...to keep me from sliding back too far.

And, I have faith.

Speaking of which, I forgot to share this photo I took as we were returning to HPNC after Momma's funeral.  Remember...we saw a Double Rainbow last September, just about this same time, when we were in Maui?

Two sets of double rainbows in one year?! I'm so lucky!    Maybe I should go buy a lottery ticket...:-)


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Triple Chip Cookies

1 stick of butter, softened
3/4 cup brown sugar, packed
3/4 cup granulated sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
2 1/4 cup self-rising flour
1 cup chocolate chips
1/2 cup butterscotch chips
1/2 cup white chocolate chips
1 cup pecans, chopped (opt.)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.  Line cookie sheet(s) with parchment paper. Set aside.

In a large bowl, beat the butter and sugars together.  Add eggs, one at a time, and continue to beat until fluffy. Add vanilla and mix in.  Slowly, add in flour until well-blended.  Stir in chips and nuts; blend thoroughly.

Using a cookie scoop (or small ice cream scoop), form cookies on cookie sheets.  I can usually get 11 or 12 cookie "balls" on a sheet.  Bake for 11-13 minutes, or until lightly browned.  Do NOT overbake.  Remove from oven, and allow to cool on the cookie sheet for at least 2 minutes.  Remove cookies to baking rack(s) to finish cooling.  Store in airtight container to keep soft and chewy. 

This recipe makes enough for 24-30 large cookies. You can even freeze 1/2 of the recipe (after forming the cookies) for baking at a later date.  Enjoy!

Damages*

*No, this post isn't about the FX show, Damages, although I wouldn't mind saying something about it.  I got hooked on that one a couple years back, by watching a marathon of the first year.  Glenn Close plays attorney Patty Hewes to perfection.  And, Rose Byrne is great as her protege (well, in Season 1) Ellen Parsons.  Ted Danson, Martin Short, and Lily Tomlin...all excellent in dramatic roles, all receiving Emmy nominations for their parts.  The presentation of each season is the same:  starts with the present time; flashbacks to past, gradually moving the flashbacks forward to catch up with the present in the final show of the season.  You really have to keep up, or you'll be lost as a goose...and have to wait for the marathon after the season ends.  I guess, however, I should be using the past tense, since the finale for Season 3 was such a wrap-up that I imagine there isn't going to be a Season 4.  Too bad.

Instead, I'm posting about the plural of damage. Damage...as in destruction.

We had a terrific thunderstorm on Tuesday.  Lighting, lots of thunder, torrential rain (.6" in the rain gauge), more thunder, and wind.  Oh goodness, the winds.  Clocked one gust over 45 miles per hour at PTI, they said.  It must have blown through the Way Back on its way to the airport.  Can you tell in the photo to the right that those are my tomatoes...and their cages...on the ground?  In all, 12 plants were uprooted and suffered damage; I stopped counting at 100 lost tomatoes (in various stages of green-growth), not to mention the worlds of yellow blossoms that would have become tomatoes.  Sigh. 

Just about broke my heart when I began the rescue-and-repair on Wednesday morning.  Took me a couple of hours to get the cages back up and in the ground, and all the damaged stems/vines trimmed and removed.  I also had to put several stalks of corn back in the ground, as they had been blown over.  I have a good crop of bicolor corn so far, and I would hate to think I'll lose all those lovely. sweet, juicy kernels...not to the lack of water, but to wind?

After noon, I headed to Home Depot (my "home away from home") for some 6' stakes, which I will use to secure the cages and plants.  I'll have to get up at dawn tomorrow to get the stakes in the ground, as we are under a heat advisory for the rest of the week:  we are at 91 today, with a heat index of 100; the air temperature for tomorrow is predicted for 97, with a possibility of 100 on Saturday.  Gotta get the gardening done before 10:00 a.m., for sure.

I did say "damages," didn't I?  Plural.

I'll start this paragraph with my sigh.  Sigh.  This is one of those "you can't win for losing" kind of situations.  N/M/E, who has a variety of health issues due to her primary diagnosis of "you're 90" (as you may recall from an earlier post about what our family doctor said...:), is facing a dilemna.  She takes Celebrex for her arthritis pain (along with several other pain medications for her back pain, etc.) and has for several years.  Now, two of her doctors have become so concerned about the results of a recent (early June) blood test that they have ordered her to stop taking it.  Stop. Taking. It. NOW.  Both of them had their nurses call here this week to discuss their concerns.  One of the docs (not the one who prescribed the med., by the way) went so far as to remove it from her prescription list in her medical record.  Just wiped it out.  What's going on here?

Well, if you are savvy about NSAIDS, you will know that kidney damage is a threat for long-term users of those types of medications.  You will also be aware that the reason we (and I am including myself in this group) continue to take Celebrex in spite of the threats (and there are others) is that there is no other medication that is as effective with arthritis pain and is as well tolerated (read that:  that doesn't cause stomach problems).  We've gone through all the other NSAIDS, without much success.  What to do, what to do?

N/M/E has had to make a choice:  live with some more chronic pain vs. risk permanent kidney damage.  She's going to try life without the Celebrex for the next couple of weeks, then have some more bloodwork done.  That way, we'll see if it is a cause-and-effect going on...or, if there is something else in play.

Big sigh.

Interestingly enough, I have to say that she seems to be feeling a good bit better this week.  After our visit to Dr. K this morning, she said she felt like going out for lunch...something she hasn't felt like doing recently.  She also wanted to go to the Farmer's Market for some fresh NC peaches, since she's heard so much about them on our local news channel.  Two birds, one stone.  We had lunch at the Moose Cafe, as you can see in the photo to the left, which is on the property of the Piedmont Triad Farmer's Market. 

We both got the Buttermilk Fried Chicken breast with green beans.  I got the mashed potatoes, and N/M/E got the fried apples.  I also ordered an extra side of pickled beets for us to split.  The meals come with biscuits with apple butter and cornbread.  If you like your cookin' country, then you would like the Moose!  N/M/E pronounced it to be some of the best fried chicken she'd had in NC, so we'll definitely make a return trip soon.

Then, we swung Lillie Pearl PTC over by the retail area of the Market so we could pick up a peck of peaches.  Free stone.  Juicy and sweet.  I know 'cause the lady cut one open and let me taste it!  Excellent.  I can't wait to slice some up to go over ice cream tonight...and cereal in the morning.  I may even have enough to make some peach preserves.

A little sugar on those peaches should help soothe away some of the pangs of those damages, eh?

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Walmart

So, it's early on Saturday morning. I've had my coffee, Mr. T is having a well-deserved sleeping in, and I'm wondering what I can do that doesn't involve unpacking a box (sick of it...sick of it...sick of it). I know! I'll go get some ferns for the front porch. I imagine that doesn't sound exciting to you, but I've not been able to have ferns in such a long time...either because I didn't have a covered front porch, or because it was way too sunny/hot to keep ferns. Now, I have a wonderful "rocking chair" front porch (yes, I've put 2 rocking chairs on it...:) that will accommodate ferns...and palms...and almost anything. Off to Walmart I go!

However...

At Johnson Street, when Lillie Pearl should have turned left, she swerved right...and headed straight to the Piedmont Triad Farmer's Market on Sandy Ridge Road. Oh. My. Goodness. Imagine if you will: acres of covered retail sales stalls, filled with plants, produce, meats, poultry, cheeses, etc., all fresh-from-the-farm. There were so many plants that I felt overwhelmed. And, I only visited one of the retail stalls! But, as you can see from the photo of Lillie Pearl (left), it didn't stop me from loading 'er up with Shasta Daisies (two varieties), Rudbeckia ("black-eyed Susans"), patio tomato and cucumber plants, and...oh yeah...ferns. Remarkably, there didn't seem to be any palms available, but that was OK as I couldn't fit anything else in my car, even though I folded all the seats down and made my PTC into my best imitation of a cargo van. As you see from the photo to the right, I did leave some things for the other shoppers...who were quite numerous, even early on Saturday morning.

Arriving back at the house, I grinned sheepishly as Mr. T rolled his eyes at my loaded Lillie P. "You need to stop adding work for us to do, dear." I know, I know. But, they were so pretty...and they are all perennials, so any work we do in planting them now will reward us for years to come. In theory...

The previous owners obviously liked daylilies, for there are several plantings on our property. I've identified Stella d'Oros (lots of them) and possibly some Double Eagles (?), along with a pretty peachy-pink one. Wonder what that is? They also liked azaleas and rhododendrons, along with dogwoods, which do well in a tree-shaded yard...which we haven't had in several years (since our house in Dacula, GA). However, there doesn't seem to be a single iris. Not one. How can a Tennessee girl live without her iris? Well, we'll fix that, as soon as we get our plants we harvested before we left our MO house (which are currently lounging in Missy M's back yard). We have several varieties of iris, some of which were shared with us by friends and family. We'll proudly add them to our NC soil.


BTW, never fear. We still had to make a Walmart run later on that day for some shelf support brackets (so I could unpack a box of books onto one of the bookshelves) and some picture hangers...and Mr. T got those Cat Palms for the door (left). Ahhh, yes. It's starting to feel like home around here.